A First Kiss is Not Research
by celticvampriss
Summary: I've seen a lot of gsnk fics that address a possible first kiss for Nozakura as him trying to practice as reference for the manga, which could work that's totally fine, but I sort of wanted to take that idea and maybe try and make it a bit different? Fluff. First kiss. Nozakura. Nozaki x Sakura.


Though her heart beat hard in her chest and her stomach danced until she thought she might be sick, her thoughts were much more rational.

"Eh, you…you want to _what_?" Sakura asked, her grip on the pen began to shake.

He didn't look up. He was working. "As reference. I was thinking that it might be time I gathered the proper insight. I can record how I feel immediately after. You could too. We could have Mikoshiba take pictures."

Her mouth opened, then closed. Her cheeks were burning, embarrassment spreading all the way to her ears. And yet, this was not all she had hoped for, whatever her emotions were trying to tell her.

He looked up from his work. "Is that acceptable?"

She hung her head and set down her pencil. No. No it was not acceptable. She put her palms on the table and pushed herself up. "I'm sorry, Nozaki-kun. I really wish to help you, but I can't do what you're asking." With her words went her energy, her ability to keep smiling even when she knew that this was not at all surprising. He would never have asked for a first kiss if not for reference, if not for the work. She wasn't angry with him. He was just being himself. But she was suddenly very tired.

"I understand. Maybe I could ask Mikoshiba himself. Would you take the pict–"

"No." She said, louder than she intended.

"Hm? Why not?" He looked up at her, still seated at the table and he barely needed to tilt his head to do it.

"B-because." She said and a part of her didn't want him kissing anyone, if it couldn't be her, certainly, but this was not about that. Not really. "Nozaki-ku, you can't ask Mikorin, either. Please promise me you won't."

He held a hand to his chin and considered. "I don't know why it matters, but who else could I get to help me? Hori is much less likely to agree to something like this."

She put both hands on the table, hard, and leaned toward him. "You can't ask anyone!"

He was quiet and Sakura knew that she had to explain. Because he didn't understand. She felt embolden by a surge of emotions, but now that their faces were much closer and she could see so clearly into his eyes…

"You can't ask just anyone to be your first kiss." She said, her voice softer, her eyes drifting away from him so that her face was shadowed by her bangs. "And you can't use it for reference. Nozaki-kun, a first kiss should be special. It should only be given to someone who you truly want to kiss. Not so you can take pictures and write down a record, but because you trust that person and you care about them, because they're special and…and you like them."

She leaned back, sitting once again. On her heels and with her hands carefully laying in her lap. "I can't be your reference, because…it would be my first kiss, too."

"I see."

She lifted up her head suddenly, blushing softly and tears filled the corner of her eyes, though she hid it with a bright smile. "And I know that if you kiss just anyone, you might regret it so you have to kiss someone special to you. Okay?"

He nodded.

She returned the nod, feeling better. Then silence lapsed between them and she, for a second, considered that maybe, now that he knew what it could mean, he would ask her again?

When he said nothing for a long time, Sakura knew that no such chance was coming. He was not going to ask her again. And that was okay. He might ask someone, though. And that was okay too. Whether it could be her or not, a first kiss was special. It was not research.

Nozaki picked up his pencil and began sketching again. The sound of them scratching over the paper filled the easy silence. Then Sakura gathered her things and went home.

She did not go to his house the following day. It was their day off and, though she missed spending her time there, it was better that she didn't. She spent her time relaxing, doing nothing–which was very satisfying– and getting ahead with her homework. She would have to go to his house the following day and she felt much better about it.

It was a sunny day. Warm, but with a cool breeze. Sakura walked with Nozaki to his apartment, glad that everything seemed settled and easy between them. She had been worried it wouldn't be, but that had been silly. After they'd taken off their shoes and she'd sat down to start writing, Nozaki stopped in the middle of the room, without making a move to his desk.

"Hm? Is everything okay, Nozaki-kun?" Sakura adjusted her bag near her side and picked up her pen.

He turned to face her. "I wanted to tell you that I gave what you said a lot of thought."

"What I…said?" There it was, her racing heart.

"Yes. I made a list." He went to his desk then and picked up a piece of paper. There was a list all right, with all of the names crossed off except one. Which she couldn't read from there.

"A…a list." She repeated, cringing at her own lack of adequate response.

He sighed. "You might have been right the other day. I could do to experience things for myself. Actually, it would probably make my interpretations more authentic in the manga."

Sakura glared. Of course.

He held out the paper to her, which she took in shaky fingers. "I thought of every person that I'm acquainted with and I considered your parameters for narrowing it down."

She swallowed, afraid to look, afraid of what name would be left uncrossed.

He paused to wait for her to look, but when she didn't he pressed on. "Your name was the only one I didn't cross off. If you were okay with it, I would like for you to be my first kiss."

Her mouth fell open.

"If you say no, I'll have to go with my back-up."

She nearly had a cardiac event.

Nozaki scratched at his cheek. "Mikoshiba was obviously second, I have known him a long time and I feel that he is trustworthy. I can't say that I had ever really wanted to, but I do consider him a special friend."

"NO!"

"Hm?" He looked at her again. "No you won't?"

"No, I mean, yes." Sakura shook out her hands, shaking her head. "I mean, yes, that is fine. I don't mind. If you're sure. And this isn't for the manga." She was standing, her fists clenched at her sides and her palms starting to sweat.

 _Oh no. Oh no. Breathe._

"I can't say that entirely. The experience would be useful for the manga, but I promise not to take pictures or to write down any notes. You were right when you said I should go for the real experience."

"Oh. Um. Uhuh." She sucked in air, but it was not enough.

"Then you agree?"

Her heart stopped. "Y-yes." She was so quiet she almost didn't hear her own answer.

He nodded to her and then looked around. "We'll have to do something about your height."

"My…"

"Here." He pulled his chair over and in the next motion had both hands under her arms.

 _Just like at the entrance ceremony._ Sakura couldn't breathe. She couldn't do anything but drift in that moment. When her feet were on the chair she was just the same height as him. Maybe still a bit shorter.

Her legs trembled and he stared at her openly, making the shaking worse.

 _This can't be right. He's not about to kiss me right NOW. Just like that? When I just got used to the idea that it would never happen?_

She swallowed and tried to calm down.

"I'll go first." He said, then his hands were lightly resting on her shoulders. Not exactly the most practical placement, but she was so lost in the dizzying flood of sensations that she couldn't care. His hands covered most of her upper arm and his touch was so light it made the tingling of her nerves go haywire. He leaned in.

Sakura snapped into clarity as he did, her world condensed to this spot. To the right now. To Nozaki's face. And she felt a calm settle over her thoughts. Her eyes closed and she moved her head, to meet him half way.

Then he was kissing her.

The pressure was light and she sighed into it, bringing the kiss just a bit further. All those littler nerves settled right into her gut, the chaste kiss spreading a glow through her–she saw it in her mind as a glow–and she was so blissfully aware of what was happening, so hyper sensitive and yet her hands had stopped shaking. She did not move. She did not dare break the spell.

But he did. He pulled back slowly. Not quite meeting her eyes, like he was reflecting on what just happened. Sakura didn't care. She almost wouldn't have cared if he had pulled out a notebook.

Her eyes fluttered, the feeling still on her lips. She put her fingers to her mouth. Nothing could ever have been more perfect. Not only because it was her first kiss and she knew that she had only ever wanted it to be with him, but because he had chosen her too. Whatever that came to mean.

He took another step back and offered a hand to help her off the chair. She felt winded. Refreshed. She also didn't want to let go of his hand.

"N-Nozaki-kun?" She said, after settling back to their height difference. He looked down at her. "Um…I just…how…was that okay?" Her voice got smaller the more her confidence wavered. That had been the best thing in her short life, but that didn't mean he had liked it. Maybe she was a terrible kisser.

He paused, then said, "It was not what I was expecting."

"Oh." She frowned. Well, that didn't tell her anything. "In a…good way? Or a bad way?"

"Good, I'd say." He nodded. "Good."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Yes."

She wanted to jump. She wanted to run around that room flailing her arms and squealing into the air. When he turned his back to get something, she did a few mini hops into the air, her arms pumping. She stopped as soon as he turned back.

With a camera.

"Now, since we were able to get past the first kiss as the important one, it's okay to have Mikoshiba take pictures?"

Her arms fell from the air, "What?"

"Reference pictures. Of a kiss. I still need a reference for the manga."

Sakura felt like a punctured balloon, all her air hissing out a tiny hole as she was slowly emptied of life.

Nozaki grabbed a notebook. A pen. Texted Mikorin. "There. He'll be here soon. Do you want to stand back on the chair?"

Sakura took in a breath. Then smiled. Of course. She was not surprised. She was not angry. And, at this point, he was right. They had already shared a magical first kiss. Or, good, in his case. She felt better about being a test for the rest of them, now that the important one was out of the way. There were lines she would have to draw, but the prospecting of getting a few more kisses that night was honestly too much to pass up. She could worry about the rest later.

"Sakura, do you think it would be inappropriate if I opened my mouth? A few of the times I observed couples, they were opening their mouths."

Sakura balked. "You…you were watching couples k-kiss?"

"They weren't kissing when I started watching them." He said. "It was in a public place."

 _That doesn't make a difference! That's still really creepy!_

"Are you okay with that or not?" He turned on the camera. "I'll keep my mouth closed if that makes you uncomfortable."

"I…"

"Hey Sakura. Nozaki-kun. You texted me to come over?" Mikoshiba waltzed into the room and Nozaki handed off the camera.

"Yes. I need to you take a picture of me and Sakura kissing."

…

"WHAT?"


End file.
